GP Appointment

I would like to thank the GP I saw this morning for helping to contribute to my already overwhelmingly low sense of worth. 

It is hard to open up to yet another new GP; to have to tell my story for the umpteenth time. I woke up exhausted and couldn’t face eating. The GP asked if I work when I explained I had come in as I have anxiety and depression. I explained about providing respite for Dom. He then asked what I do in my spare time. I said about going the gym. I was told that working would be a good idea. The way the GP said it made me feel pathetic, like I am bringing my anxiety and depression on myself. I didn’t see the point in explaining about Walter as I felt so shitty. 

I talked about the recurrent suicidal ideations. He said there was no point changing my medication. I am being referred to the crisis team which was probably one of the only positives of my appointment. I also have some sleeping tablets as I am struggling big time to sleep. I should hear from them within a week. The GP didn’t even ask me when I should come back in for another appointment. 

Dave phoned me after my appointment. He told me to focus on the positives and that it is a step in the right direction. I am hoping that an assessment with the crisis team will be useful. Part of me is embarassed that it has got to this point. 

It annoyed me that I was made to feel useless as I am not really working. The GP said that I need to keep distracted. So work is the only thing that can provide this distraction? I do want some form of job. But when I can’t function at a basic level most days, working is the least of my worries. 

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15 thoughts on “GP Appointment

  1. The Anxious Dragon says:

    Ive had this sort of attitude off gp’s before, but they are so wrong. Your worth is not based on weather you work or not, and there are plenty of things you can do that are worthwhile other than working xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am so sorry to hear that you’ve been having these suicidal ideations. You should not feel embarrassed. They’re the ones in the wrong. It takes a lot of courage to keep going back and seeing all these different GPs and admitting to them the illness that you suffer from. As you’ve said before, even the little things require a great effort sometimes, keep strong and you’ll get there. Tomorrow is a different day. Hopefully this meeting will help, and you’ll feel a bit better soon! x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Some people really don’t understand that not working is not always a choice but a necessity. I get the same from people I know sometimes and it’s shitty. Just remember we know where you are coming from and that it’s not like you want anxiety and depression to keep you from things.
    Hopefully the referral to the crisis team will be helpful and lead to further help

    Liked by 2 people

  4. So sorry to read this, unhelpful GP’s as you say just make matters worse, regardless of whether you were his patient, he could have taken the time not only to listen, but also to give the reassurance that your being taken seriously.

    Experiences like this can cause set backs and leave you feeling that you don’t have support.

    Take care x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I know what rubbish GPs can do to your self esteem 😦 There are nice ones out there, it just sucks that mental health is still stigmatised and trivialised, even by medical professionals. Hope all goes well with the crisis team πŸ™‚

    Like

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