Thank you for all the supportive comments on my last post. I didn’t know how to respond to them. But I hope you know that they were a comfort to me during last weekend.
It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster since my disastrous assessment on Friday.
It took me until about Sunday to fully move forward from the assessment. Friday evening I had to take it five minutes at a time. I was worn out but had to take a sleeping tablet.
I was still in such a bad state on Saturday. So much so that I couldn’t face the gym. I didn’t have the strength to exercise or to face people. Dave had to make me go with him to take Walter for a walk. I’m so glad he did. It helped me to begin to clear my head.
On Sunday I suggested that we take Walter for a big walk. I felt much more able to face the world. Walter loved meeting lots of new dogs. A group of young children were fascinated with him and I managed to get him to do a few of his tricks much to their delight.
On Sunday evening I received a text that boosted my mood. At Dom’s mum’s wedding, there was a 13 year old girl there with Down’s Syndrome. I spoke to her during the day and also danced with her during the evening. Her mum had mentioned how she would love to have me working with her daughter.
I decided to bite the bullet and text Dom’s mum expressing my interest in supporting this girl. On Sunday evening her Mum text me to see if I was still interested. My head was trying to tell me to make up an excuse, that I wasn’t up to this, that I would be rubbish. But I ignored these thoughts.
So tomorrow I am working with this girl! I spoke to her Mum earlier on and I am actually looking forward to it now. I will be helping this girl get ready first thing in the morning to get ready for school. I will also be supporting her for a few hours after school. From speaking to the girl’s mum, she sounds like a right character.
It’s funny how certain events can help change your mood for the better. I really hope working with this girl will help me as much as her. This could be a great opportunity for me. It could help aid my recovery.
I am in the process of switching my medication. I have lowered my dosage of Citralopram from 40mg to 20mg. Next week I will be taking 50mg of Sertraline each morning. I do have my doubts whether this is the right thing to do. But I am willing to at least try in order to stabilise my mood.