The good and the bad

One of my ‘friends’ was supposed to be coming round today. When she finally got back to me yesterday about the arrangements, it turned out she now couldn’t come round. 

This ‘friend’ hasn’t seen me for nearly a year. We were extremely good friends for a long time. She actually tried to use my deactivating my facebook account as an excuse for her lack of communication with me. She has my mobile number! 

Saturday mornings I do classes at the gym. I love my Saturday mornings. It helps me for numerous reasons. I told my ‘friend’ that 2pm would be a good time to come round for. My last class at the gym finishes at 11.30am. So this gives me time to go home and get a shower and get changed, have my lunch and pop out to do a quick food shop. 

My ‘friend’ said she would need to be home for 4.30pm so couldn’t come round for 2pm. I refuse to change my plans regarding the gym for someone who hasn’t bothered with me for so long. I suggested tomorrow and she said she has plans. My ‘friend’ asked if I could meet up for food one evening in the week. As I work four evenings in the week this is not possible. I wasn’t going to get into a discussion about my change in work so I said I couldn’t meet up one evening in the week. I told her to get in touch with me regarding which weekends are best for her. Shock horror, she hasn’t given me any dates. 

The point of this post is that a few weeks ago, this would probably have really upset me. I would have ruminated on it, ranted about it and got myself in a right state. I would have made out that this was my fault and I am a terrible person. Instead, I am not wasting any energy over the situation. 

Last night, I was talking to the mum of little miss. During our conversation she brought up the topic of mental illness and other people seeing it as pathetic. I shocked myself and actually told her that I have depression and anxiety. I went on to say that working with little miss has really helped me. She then gave me a big hug. 

Being mentally ill doesn’t make you pathetic or weak. If anything, those of us who are mentally ill are some of the most strongest and resilient people. We have to fight every day, some days more than others, to keep going. That takes a lot of strength and courage.

So make sure you surround yourself with good people. It’s the least you deserve. 

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23 thoughts on “The good and the bad

  1. In the past 6 months I have lost friends. The only one who has been there was the one that is in the menthal health system. She has more that she cab handle, yet she finds time for me. Thank you for this great post. It made me remember priorities. Also when people do not want to face their friends they always make excuses. Regards. Solitaire

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jo says:

    I absolutely love this post! You are so brave and strong. Well done for not letting that flake of a ‘friend’ get you down. I am glad I am not alone that we are strong. I am sharing this post with the world! Love you x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lovely positive spin on what could have been a difficult situation. Important to keep this mindset on the toughest days. I’m sure I’ll be re-reading this last paragraph again and again! Take care x

    Like

  4. I have lost friends by being ill. One in particular I had a pretty good friendship with, we got on really well like two kindred spirits, and with her suffering from chronic pain too I thought she would see how important seeing friends is. But it’s been over a year since we saw eachother because she keeps cancelling our plans whether it’s me going to see her or her coming here. It’s really disappointing to lose friends like this

    Liked by 1 person

    • There are so many of us who have seemed to have lost friends as a result of being ill. It can be hard to deal with but I am glad that I know where I stand with people x

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Good for you!! I’m so proud of you because I know that wasn’t easy!!! It takes a lot of courage and I am proud of you… And jealous at the same time. I still ruminate because I always wonder what if? And yet ironically I always tell people to cut the dead weight.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks for a great post! There are a few thoughts.
    It can be so disappointing when you find someone in your life who will not give as you would, who does not offer you the respect you offer them. That is painful at time. I am glad you realized how you were handling it! Congrats on the healing.

    As for your statement on people who suffer from mental illness. They are some of the most courageous people I know. To face such a struggle but to continue on take amazing strength and bravery. You were so right!

    Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you. I am trying to take the positives from the situation such as I feel more resilient and that I did all I could to maintain the friendship x

      Like

  7. The word ‘friends’ is a valuable label that people should be worthy of. I like that you used ‘ ‘ when describing this ‘friend’. I took that to mean ‘so called’ friend. She is not worthy of your time. You are awesome and true friends will know that.
    Thank you for reading my post.

    Liked by 1 person

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