One of my ‘friends’ was supposed to be coming round today. When she finally got back to me yesterday about the arrangements, it turned out she now couldn’t come round.
This ‘friend’ hasn’t seen me for nearly a year. We were extremely good friends for a long time. She actually tried to use my deactivating my facebook account as an excuse for her lack of communication with me. She has my mobile number!
Saturday mornings I do classes at the gym. I love my Saturday mornings. It helps me for numerous reasons. I told my ‘friend’ that 2pm would be a good time to come round for. My last class at the gym finishes at 11.30am. So this gives me time to go home and get a shower and get changed, have my lunch and pop out to do a quick food shop.
My ‘friend’ said she would need to be home for 4.30pm so couldn’t come round for 2pm. I refuse to change my plans regarding the gym for someone who hasn’t bothered with me for so long. I suggested tomorrow and she said she has plans. My ‘friend’ asked if I could meet up for food one evening in the week. As I work four evenings in the week this is not possible. I wasn’t going to get into a discussion about my change in work so I said I couldn’t meet up one evening in the week. I told her to get in touch with me regarding which weekends are best for her. Shock horror, she hasn’t given me any dates.
The point of this post is that a few weeks ago, this would probably have really upset me. I would have ruminated on it, ranted about it and got myself in a right state. I would have made out that this was my fault and I am a terrible person. Instead, I am not wasting any energy over the situation.
Last night, I was talking to the mum of little miss. During our conversation she brought up the topic of mental illness and other people seeing it as pathetic. I shocked myself and actually told her that I have depression and anxiety. I went on to say that working with little miss has really helped me. She then gave me a big hug.
Being mentally ill doesn’t make you pathetic or weak. If anything, those of us who are mentally ill are some of the most strongest and resilient people. We have to fight every day, some days more than others, to keep going. That takes a lot of strength and courage.
So make sure you surround yourself with good people. It’s the least you deserve.