Consistently low

Emotionally, I am in a strange place right now. My depression seems to have a hold right now. It is not an unbearably tight grip, but it feels like it is constantly there; like a tap slowly dripping. 

It is difficult to articulate. I have felt numb, a complete nothingness the majority of the time. I am becoming increasingly tired. I suspect this is due to the amount of energy even the most basic tasks are taking. My sleep has gone shitty again. I feel exhausted but frequently struggle to actually fall asleep. 

Any form of social interaction is a challenge. We have plans to see friends on Saturday afternoon and I would rather just sit in. The gym isn’t providing any enjoyment or respite from the low mood. 

I am still waiting on my appointment with the crisis team to do some work around my anxiety. In the meantime, I don’t know what to do. There isn’t a decent GP at my doctors for me to go to.

Although things are becoming increasingly difficult, I am still tackling my depression and anxiety head on. I am getting up each morning, working when I am supposed to be, taking Walter for a walk every day and still going the gym four times a week. 


10 thoughts on “Consistently low

  1. Jo says:

    I am glad that you are still managing to do the every day things. That’s really healthy as I know you know. I think you described depression perfectly. I know it’s different for every one and sometimes it’s different one day to the next for the same person, but I often feel the way you described x

    Liked by 1 person

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