Since yesterday I’ve been trying to shake off this uneasiness I am experiencing. It’s really strange. I’m feeling really spaced out and everything is an effort. I feel like I am struggling to catch my breath even though I haven’t done anything strenuous. Today feels worse than yesterday.
I was hoping to go for a walk with Walter and Dave. But it has rained constantly today. Walter hates being out in the rain. He even hates going the toilet in the rain. I have been ill for a good few days. I’d planned to go the gym a few times imbetween Christmas and New Year. But I was so full of cold, tired, achy and just generally unwell that couldn’t have possibly have gone. Even working with Dom for a few hours on Wednesday wore me out. Dave has had to take Walter for his walks on his own. Today I have finally started to feel better physically. It’s just a shame that my mental health isn’t so great now.
Dave is back at work tomorrow. I think this is playing a big part in my current emotional state. Dave works long hours Monday to Friday. He has two jobs. Because of this, he doesn’t finish work until 10pm. With me working early mornings three times a week, it means that I don’t really get to see him until the weekend. It has been so nice that Dave has been off work. I guess I got used to it.
I probably sound weak and pathetic. Lots of people are in similar if not worse situations. But it can be quite lonely for me so I don’t know how Dave does it. He works so hard for us. We are saving towards getting our own house so I know it will be worth it in the end.
I am back at the gym from tomorrow evening. I am really hoping that it helps me get rid of this uneasiness.