Unwelcome visitor

The past few days has seen the unwelcome arrival of depression. It is a struggle to explain it so I apologise if this post is just me wittering on incoherently. 

Last night, I noticed that my mood had dipped. I have felt on the verge of tears a number of times. My concentration levels are noticeably lower too. I have experienced some pretty dark thoughts at times. 

As I have mentioned previously, this week it is the school holidays over here. So instead of working early mornings and evenings, I have been working during the day. Dom and Faith have been fab this week. I think they have both benefitted from the time off school to recharge their batteries so to speak. But I think the change in routine has thrown me. I have experienced anxiety about going the gym which has been unpleasant to say the least. I haven’t had as much ‘me’ time which I think is playing a part. 

I am getting my haircut and spending time with my family over the weekend. In all honesty, I wish I hadn’t made any plans. It would be easier to just stay in. But I refuse to let my depression dictate my life. 

Fingers crossed that this is just a blip….

14 thoughts on “Unwelcome visitor

  1. Sorry to read this, but understand where your coming from, sometime with the family will help and a new hair do.

    Your work with Dom and Faith is coming along leaps and bounds and so glad you have these really positive additions to your life, I’m sure it makes a huge difference.

    Take care xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It is always a blip!!!!! Remember that. I had one today myself, and it isn’t great! I just have to trust that I am going through whatever I am going through for a reason and I will one day be past it. I understand your anxiety about the gym. What helped me, was changing my expectation of the gym. I look at it as merely a place to go to get better. Not a place where I am not in good enough shape as others, or look a certain way. Everyone is there for the same reason, to better themselves. Period. No one is there to judge, or to ridicule. If they do, they are scum. Just take a deep breath in when you get those feelings and remember why you are going to the gym…It is not to look a certain way, or to get to a certain goal. It is to make yourself better, and to form a habit that coincides with being better. Pretty soon, going to the gym will be effortless. You got it.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I go to the gym five times a week. I have been for a number of years. It is frustrating to experience high levels of anxiety around going the gym. But, I managed to go this morning x


  3. Although depression tried to be superior here, you actually won! I love the way you pushed past it, surrounded yourself with family and went for that new look. Those are the steps necessary to regain control of this thing! I so appreciate you sharing the journey. Knowing there will be highs and lows, just keep going. Someone needs to hear your story:-)

    Liked by 1 person

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