Fake it

Have you ever felt lonely even when you are with other people? I am sat with my Mum and sister and have Walter asleep next to me. Yet I feel incredibly lonely. 

I have spent another day wearing a mask that appears to show others that I am fine. Depression makes me feel like a fraud for having to be like this. But what can anyone do to stop me feeling like this? It is easier for everyone else if it seems that all is well with me. 

It is worrying that I am looking forward to the time on my own driving home from my parents later. 

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11 thoughts on “Fake it

  1. sixymama says:

    Yes. Totally. And that’s okay. its confusing but the black dog fogs our mind sometimes.
    Go home, and be at peace. The pressure is off and no more pretending. Be alone, be entirely yourself and be you. Enjoy it, and let that guilt go. Maybe next time you’re in company you’ll feel less alone, maybe not. You’re trying. And that’s he most important thing of all 👍

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There is nothing wrong with wanting some time alone! It can be good for you to reflect and practise some self care. what is important is being able to tell the difference between wanting some time to yourself (perfectly healthy) and isolating yourself (unhealthy). take care xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel like this most of the time, and that in itself is so isolating sometimes I feel crippled by it, my mask has been super glued on for years and I’m afraid to remove it,but know I have to if I want to move forwards.

    Time alone is important to gather your thoughts, and try to turn them into something positives, I think that’s point is to always try something positive no matter how small.

    Take care xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for, as always, your helpful and supportive comment. I think I need to work on these issues during my CBT. I don’t feel as low as I did yesterday which is definitely a positive x

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh I can definitely relate. I think my loneliest times are when I’m actually with people to be honest. And I really would love to know how other people would feel if we stopped putting on the “I’m fine show”. I have been asked to just be myself but when I even start to do that, I’m made to feel bad because I’m not making an effort. It’s tough. I hope you are ok lovely x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have felt this same thing often. It’s sad that I feel alone in the company of the person who should make me feel loved. I tend to close myself down in those times, making it more difficult for anyone to help me feel less alone. … Ugh.

    Like

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