Friends

Does anyone else feel that they don’t really have good friends? I was just looking through my instagram feed and it got me thinking. I couldn’t name a single friend who I could call my ‘best friend’. It has made me feel down. I see loads of people that have a close group of friends or at least a best friend that they can talk to about anything. 

I am even struggling to think of many good friends. It has got me thinking that this is all my own fault. I push people away, I don’t deserve to have friends, my anxiety and depression make me unlikeable. 

Another factor that seems to play a part is that I am teetotal. I made the conscious decision to stop drinking alcohol last April when I was in Australia. I didn’t like what it did to me. It heightened all the negativity in my head and made me feel out of control. 

Call me old, but I never imagined that when I was 30, people would see alcohol as such an important factor when socialising. I have been made to feel boring or not worth inviting out because I am teetotal.

It’s probably just me that feels like this. At least, I hope no one else experiences the isolation and loneliness I regularly feel. I consistently make the effort with people and yet I continue to feel second best with most people. 

I will try and do a proper update soon. It’s been a few weeks since I posted. I’m just feeling quite low at the moment. 

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15 thoughts on “Friends

  1. I also know the feeling of (seemingly) self-inflicted isolation. Friends would be nice, but I often though think that there is no point in trying to make friends because I don’t go go out because of my anxiety and like you I don’t drink, and what do almost all 20-somethings want to do? Yep, drink. I sometimes think it’s good though, because when I do make a friend then I know they will really mean something to me. Your friends are out there somewhere, it can just take a little time to find the right ones, the ones that will stick by you no matter what 🙂

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  2. I know exactly how you feel. I isolate often and lately almost all the time. In my head, life is easier having less people around. At the same time, I sometimes miss the tons of people I hung out with.

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  3. Hi sweet pea! You’ll always have a friend in me!!
    I’d be tee total too if only my friends didn’t think that the only way to have a good night out is with a few too many drinks!
    It’s just a shame we live so far apart otherwise it’d be coffees galore!!
    Ring me or even just a message anytime if you need a chat honey 🙂 there isn’t much I can do to help but I’ll sure do as much as I can!! And theres always skype, we cam coffee date from afar!
    John sends his support too! Seems you’re stuck with the both of us Xx

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  4. The respect I have for you is immense Gemma; going teetotal is a massive decision, but it’s a decision that we could all benefit from. I hope you don’t regret this decision? That is easily the worst thing about social media, every time I look at it I end up feeling lonely too. Even though we know that social media is just a platform to broadcast your ‘perfect’ life, it can be difficult to remember that when we’re feeling low. I once heard someone say: strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet. Everyday is an opportunity to meet new people. Try not to count the number of friends no longer by your side, instead focus on those you’ve gained along the way. I’ll always be there for you Gemma. I’m so pleased to be able to call you a friend. 🙂 x

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  5. I can relate so much to this! It’s horrible that people are treating you differently just because you don’t drink. I guess a lot of people don’t understand that alcohol can affect people negatively, because we don’t talk about it enough. I think it comes down to all the stigma surrounding mental health, at least that’s how I feel. I hope you don’t feel pressured into drinking, it is important to look after yourself even though it can b difficult in social situations. I know that there are lots of people out there who don’t care that you don’t drink, and will respect you and stick with you through the tough times. I certainly don’t think any less of you for being teetotal (I made the decision to go teetotal recently myself!) and I think it’s admirable of you to stick to what you believe in. All the best xxx

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  6. I’m kinda lucky I met my group of friends when I had Z, most of the time our meetings consist of coffee, the odd few times we’ve gone out with alcohol we wouldn’t not invite someone ‘coz they don’t drink?! Think you need a holiday to the valleys and come drink coffee with us!

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  7. Hey, I really struggle making friends. Not teetotal like you but only like 1 or 2 drinks. In a lot of situations puts me in the same boat as teetotal’ers because in most group situations the drinks ever end at 1 or 2. Wish there was a greater social scene for 20-40’ers that does not revolve around drinking!! It’s kind of a sad state of affairs with so many people thinking they need to neck drinks to have “fun”.
    Sounds like there is a few of of us on wordpress who are not big alcohol fans!

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    • I totally agree Sebastian. Some people just don’t seem to get that alcohol makes my anxieties and depressions so much more harder to handle x

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