I struggle massively with moving on from bad experiences. It’s like my brain can’t process what has happened.
I decided to post about this as a ‘friend’ (we will call her Samantha) has upset me this week. In January 2015 I stopped speaking to a friend (we will call her Sandra) due to her unreasonable behaviour. At this time, I was trying to deal with severe anxiety and depression. This friend made me feel bad for being ill and bullied me into coming round to my house.
On Wednesday Samantha sent me a photo of a baby. No explanation, no message with it at all. After me responding with just a ? she said that this was Sandra’s baby.
Why would Samantha think I would want to see this photo? I have not spoken to Sandra in 18 months. In all honesty, I felt that it was a really nasty thing to do. Samantha knows that I have been struggling recently with my mental health and that my Grandad has cancer. I really don’t need this kind of nonsense. She only got in touch to send the photo as she didn’t have the decency to say Hi or How are you?
Thinking about it, Samantha brings up Sandra in conversation frequently. During CBT, I actually brought up Samantha. I find her draining and can only spend time with her in small doses. She is in her mid 30s with a young son but is extremely immature. She revels in drama and her ‘best friend’ changes frequently. I feel that she only wants to spend time with me when she wants to offload or if her other friends are busy or doing her head in.
I am still furious about the whole thing. I came off Facebook to avoid negative situations such as this.
If anyone has any tips, strategies or advice on me dealing with this please let me know. Depression and anxiety make me over analyse everything. My mood has been noticeably lower for two days now. I don’t want to experience a massive dip again.
Lost to the Dark 
Two pieces of advice: ‘Don’t believe everything that you think’ and Your well being should be the most important thing to you.
Don’t do anything that you feel will be detrimental to that until you have found a way to handle it better. That includes being very direct with bullies and a**holes and telling everyone exactly what you need. Give yourself the same attention and care that you give everyone else, and do it first. You are worth it.
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First of all, I think coming off facebook like you did was a very good step! She seems like she is being very inconsiderate, and I think it would be best to have a break and approach her when you feel better, if that’s what you want to do. If I were you, I would reflect on what I wanted out of the friendship. If she is the kind of person who only likes to stir things up, or only wants to talk to you when her other friends are busy, is it really worth trying to sustain a friendship with her? she doesn’t sound very supportive to me, but I’m sure there is more to this than you can fit into a blog post. Definitely talk to your therapist about it. Hope you’re okay xx
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A similar thing happened to me. I had a friend (R) and I introduced her to another friend (J). Well R stopped talk to me (for no reason) and her and J became very good friends and i was completely left out. I got really angry and stopped talking to J. It was a mess for a while. Since then J and I have talked about it and made up but it still hurts and still sucks. I know how you feel. Stay strong!
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Hey Gemma :), such a horrible situation to be in, firstly you come first, struggling as we all do it’s so easy for those small steps forward to be turned to dust by the selfish.
You don’t need toxic so called friends, ask yourself the question what do you get out of this friendship in terms of support.
Take care xx
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