A bump in the road

I have debated about whether I should write this post. Especially as things have been going so well for me. But I also think it is important that I acknowledge on here when things aren’t so great. 

The truth is, my mood has got progressively worse over the past few days. At the beginning of the week, I continued to push through it. But last night I came home from work and just cried. Everything feels overwhelming; work, the gym, even interacting with people. 

I am trying so hard to be kind to myself. My default mode whenever I am struggling is to chastise myself. I have done a 6km run with my friend, a PT session involving weights and boxing and a bodycombat class. I am still going to work even though it is taking every ounce of my being to be my usual self with Dom and Faith. But I can’t help repeatedly telling myself that I am just not good enough. 

I have decided to give Zumba and Bodysculpt a miss tomorrow. I am aching all over from going back to the gym. Particularly my thighs. I am struggling to get enough sleep so I could do with chilling out tomorrow during the day. On Friday, Walter and I are going to meet up with my mate, her dog and her nearly 4 year old for a dog walk. 

Dave and my mate know that I am struggling. They are both really worried. But they don’t know the full extent of how much I am struggling…

Depression likes to tell me that my life is worthless, that I don’t deserve to be happy, nobody likes me and that I am just an annoyance to those around me. So it is extremely hard to believe that this will eventually pass. 

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19 thoughts on “A bump in the road

  1. Recovery is not about suddenly feeling better one day, it’s about gradually getting there by learning how to be kind to yourself, accepting the bumps and having the tools to deal with them healthily. sending lots of positivity your way xx

    Liked by 1 person

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