Realities of anxiety

Oh anxiety. You love to lull me into a false sense of security. Then you pop up and make me feel miserable in the process. I don’t need you chipping away at me; telling me to stay in, not to go to things I have been invited to, making me compare myself to others and never feeling good enough. 

I experience anxiety every single day. I wish I didn’t, but anxiety is always going to be a part of my life. On a good day, I can ignore the anxiety and continue with every day things. But, there are days when it is so damn hard. Where it takes every ounce of my being to keep going. Anxiety and depression are a horrible combination. It feels like they fuel each other and that I am stuck in a vicious cycle; if I am highly anxious it has a negative impact on my mood and vice versa. 

I have got a lovely group of friends that I met at the gym. They are caring, supportive and so much fun to be around. I feel that they are too good to be my friends. Every time I open up I experience guilt and fear that I am pushing them away. 

It would be nice to be able to accept an invitation to a social event without experiencing anxiety. I would love to not feel paranoid and anxious whenever I am in the gym, walking Walter or anywhere else in public. But it isn’t realistic to expect these things. My anxiety is a part of me. It’s just hard to accept at times. 

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7 thoughts on “Realities of anxiety

  1. I feel for you, I really do. Anxiety does horrible things to a person. I have been so anxious since Christmas that for the last few days I’ve felt like I’m about to have a heart attack. Then I start to worry what will happen to Freddie if anything happens to me, and so it goes, round and round until something breaks the cycle. I’m sure you understand what I mean xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes we can be doing much better and all of a sudden, things get really difficult. It’s hard to watch ourselves struggle so much and our anxiety makes simple things so hard. I’m here for you and if you need to talk, feel free to let me know!

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