Goodbye Grandad

Yesterday morning, my lovely grandad passed away in his sleep. Since being diagnosed with oesophageal cancer, he had to deal with a huge number of significant health problems including not being able to eat properly, which resulted in him losing an awful lot of weight. 

Unfortunately, my grandad contracted bacterial pneumonia. For your typically healthy person, this is a serious health issue. So you can imagine how much strain this put on my grandad. I am just glad that he isn’t suffering anymore. Towards the end he was barely conscious, unable to talk or even swallow. 

My grandad was a lovely, kind and warm gentleman. He had a good word to say about everyone. I have so many fond memories of him. He loved telling us stories from when my dad was little and about things he had been up to. My grandad was so proud of my brother, my sister and I. He took a genuine interest in our lives. My grandad had a sweet tooth and loved cakes and biscuits. My nan would tell him off for sneaking biscuits out of the kitchen. So you can imagine how hard it was for us as a family to see him refusing to eat or unable to eat. 

I type this with tears streaming down my face. I just can’t quite believe I will never see him again. Yesterday evening, I went round to see my nan. It was truly heartbreaking being in the house knowing my grandad will never be there. 

Goodbye Grandad George. I am so honoured to have had you in my life. I will always miss you. Love Gemma xxx

Fed Up

For weeks I haven’t felt 100% well. I have always experienced periods of time when I do not sleep properly. Initially, I thought it was just down to this. I struggle if I do not get enough quality sleep. I eventually feel run down. But this is different. 

Regardless of how much sleep I get, I always wake up feeling completely unrefreshes. It takes me ages to feel like I have woken up. I experience what can only be described as periods of complete exhaustion throughout the day. All I want to do is sleep. I have no energy, I have an on and off sore throat, headaches and earache. My body temperature cannot regulate itself properly. I sweat a lot of the time and not always from doing something strenuous. I can sweat profusely from getting dressed. 

I probably sound like a hypochondriac. But I am really worried that something is seriously wrong. I struggle to complete a gym class because of all of this. I couldn’t even go to the shops after Bodypump last night. 

I am not sure if I have ever mentioned this but my sister has M.E. (also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). In a nutshell, she struggles on a daily basis because of it. Her M.E. was triggered by a bout of Glandular Fever. My symptoms sound similar to what she experiences.

It probably doesn’t help that I have anxiety and depression. My mood is taking a noticeable dip and my anxiety is creeping in to more aspects of my life again. I phoned my doctors and the earliest appointment they could give me is a week on Tuesday. 

I know I shouldn’t be going on when my Grandad is so unwell. The chemotherapy hasn’t worked and that is not an option anymore. He is waiting to find out when he can have radiotherapy. Each time I see him he looks even worse. 

Honesty and Illness

I decided to let myself calm down before addressing the situation with Samantha. A week after she sent me the baby photo, she messaged me to ask if I was ok and if I had upset her. 

So you know what I did? I told her that I wasn’t ok and she had upset me. Previously, I would have reacted in an angry manner to a situation similar to this. But, I was honest without being hurtful or rude. This resulted in Samantha apologising and making an effort with me. 

I’m proud that I dealt with this situation in such a positive way. I saw Samantha yesterday and actually enjoyed spending time with her. 

Walter has been unwell. At first, Dave and I put it down to the heat that we had. But on the second day of his lethargy, not wanting to do anything but sleep we became more worried. Firstly, all he did was cuddle next to Dom when he came round on Wednesday. There was no excited Walter who couldn’t wait to greet Dom. Then on Thursday we had the same again when I brought Bella home from work with me (Faith has gone away with her family for a week so we are looking after her) Walter was the same; not bothered in the slightest about seeing Bella but with the worst runny poo we had ever seen. When the runny poo had blood in it we knew Walter needed to see a vet. 

At this point it was evening, so our vet was closed. We ended up going to see an emergency vet. It was a good job we went the vets when we did. Walter’s temperature was high and he was dehydrated. As he hadn’t been sick the vet didn’t feel Walter needed to stay in to be put on fluids. This was a huge relief. Walter was given an antibiotic injection and we were told he needed to see a vet again in the morning. 

Luckily, Walter’s temperature was down on Friday morning by the time Dave took him the vets. He is on antibiotics for the next few days and we have been told to give him food such as rice, chicken and scrambled eggs. 

Walter is back to his usual lovely, happy, playful self. He is thoroughly enjoying getting to have rice, chicken and scrambled eggs. So much so, he licks his food bowl clean!

My grandad is really unwell. He has had his first lot of chemotherapy and ended up having bad side effects to it. At the moment he is in hospital. They think he has a bleed in his stomach and he is really dehydrated. He is unable to keep food down so is on anti sickness medication via a drip. It’s hard to be positive about my grandad when he seems to be getting worse 😦

Still Going

So I ended up getting an appointment with my GP this morning. I felt awful last night; I was struggling to breathe, my chest and back were hurting and I was bringing up a lot of crap off my chest. 

I have an upper respiratory tract infection. As it is a virus, I can’t take antibiotics for it. All I can do is take paracetamol and a really strong cough syrup type of thing. I have practically no voice and a horrible, painful dry cough. 

As awful as I feel, I am still working. Faith has been a superstar. Her mum has significant health issues. She had a migraine for most of yesterday evening. So if I hadn’t worked yesterday, it would have meant she wouldn’t have been able to sleep. Faith and I had a great evening. She helped me out with little jobs when I was sorting her tea out and we enjoyed playing a number of games of frustration. 

As much as it would be easier to sit on the couch all evening, Faith is really looking forward to going to Guides tonight. Dave is off work from tomorrow until Monday which I am so happy about. Plus, he will be able to help me out around the house with jobs.