Fed Up

For weeks I haven’t felt 100% well. I have always experienced periods of time when I do not sleep properly. Initially, I thought it was just down to this. I struggle if I do not get enough quality sleep. I eventually feel run down. But this is different. 

Regardless of how much sleep I get, I always wake up feeling completely unrefreshes. It takes me ages to feel like I have woken up. I experience what can only be described as periods of complete exhaustion throughout the day. All I want to do is sleep. I have no energy, I have an on and off sore throat, headaches and earache. My body temperature cannot regulate itself properly. I sweat a lot of the time and not always from doing something strenuous. I can sweat profusely from getting dressed. 

I probably sound like a hypochondriac. But I am really worried that something is seriously wrong. I struggle to complete a gym class because of all of this. I couldn’t even go to the shops after Bodypump last night. 

I am not sure if I have ever mentioned this but my sister has M.E. (also known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). In a nutshell, she struggles on a daily basis because of it. Her M.E. was triggered by a bout of Glandular Fever. My symptoms sound similar to what she experiences.

It probably doesn’t help that I have anxiety and depression. My mood is taking a noticeable dip and my anxiety is creeping in to more aspects of my life again. I phoned my doctors and the earliest appointment they could give me is a week on Tuesday. 

I know I shouldn’t be going on when my Grandad is so unwell. The chemotherapy hasn’t worked and that is not an option anymore. He is waiting to find out when he can have radiotherapy. Each time I see him he looks even worse. 

Sunday Funday

Walter has had a lovely day. My brother came round this afternoon and Walter was delighted. We took Walter to get some treats from where he went for his puppy classes. One of the trainers from his classes served us in the shop. She loved seeing Walter and could see for herself how much he had come on. 

  
This was Walter’s pupcake he had after his big walk. 

We then took Walter for a big walk at one of his favourite places. He saw lots of other dogs including another dachshund called Frank. 

   
    
   
Faith wrote Walter a birthday card so I sent her a photo of Walter with it. I love the photo I managed to get. 

  
Needless to say, Walter is now completely worn out after his fun filled day. He is currently fast asleep on the couch.

Yesterday morning, I woke up feeling not right. My throat was sore, I had a headache and earache and I was so drained. Today I woke up feeling even worse. My throat feels so scratchy and raw and my earache is unbearable at times. I have white spots on the back of my throat too.  I didn’t want to just sit in when we had plans today. But I have probably done far too much today. 

So I plan on resting as much as I can this week. It’s Dave’s birthday at the weekend and we are planning to go the zoo on Friday. As much as I love the gym, a dog walk today has left me feeling awful. So I won’t be going the gym this week

Emotionally and mentally, I have still struggled at times this week. Nothing in particular has been playing on my mind, but the feeling of uneasiness has lingered. I have CBT again tomorrow. I haven’t even attempted the task I was set. But I plan on telling my therapist that things haven’t been great. 

Uneasy

Since yesterday I’ve been trying to shake off this uneasiness I am experiencing. It’s really strange. I’m feeling really spaced out and everything is an effort. I feel like I am struggling to catch my breath even though I haven’t done anything strenuous. Today feels worse than yesterday. 

I was hoping to go for a walk with Walter and Dave. But it has rained constantly today. Walter hates being out in the rain. He even hates going the toilet in the rain. I have been ill for a good few days. I’d planned to go the gym a few times imbetween Christmas and New Year. But I was so full of cold, tired, achy and just generally unwell that couldn’t have possibly have gone. Even working with Dom for a few hours on Wednesday wore me out. Dave has had to take Walter for his walks on his own. Today I have finally started to feel better physically. It’s just a shame that my mental health isn’t so great now. 

Dave is back at work tomorrow. I think this is playing a big part in my current emotional state. Dave works long hours Monday to Friday. He has two jobs. Because of this, he doesn’t finish work until 10pm. With me working early mornings three times a week, it means that I don’t really get to see him until the weekend. It has been so nice that Dave has been off work. I guess I got used to it. 

I probably sound weak and pathetic. Lots of people are in similar if not worse situations. But it can be quite lonely for me so I don’t know how Dave does it. He works so hard for us. We are saving towards getting our own house so I know it will be worth it in the end. 

I am back at the gym from tomorrow evening. I am really hoping that it helps me get rid of this uneasiness.