Pregnancy and Mental Illness

Pregnancy is such a huge change emotionally and physically. 

Firstly, I couldn’t believe when I did the first pregnancy test that it did say I was pregnant. Dave and I were so lucky; I came off the pill in November and by February I was pregnant. I have read countless stories of couples really struggling for years to conceive. 

The first few weeks I was pregnant I was in a heightened state of anxiety. I was constantly googling every single symptom I had. It was exhausting. I had some abdominal cramps and spotting which made me instantly worry I was having a miscarriage. I phoned my BEP (Bleeding in Early Pregnancy) clinic and they were amazing. I got an appointment the following morning and had a scan. Thankfully, the baby was fine. It was tiny but we saw and heard the heartbeat. It was a huge relief. 
I am so thankful that I am now over 14 weeks pregnant and I am in the second trimester. Physically, the first trimester was tough going at times. I have never been so tired in all my life. Initially, I had nausea and eventually I had full blown morning sickness. Up until recently, I was having awful headaches too. 

Since I have been pregnant, my mood has been good and pretty level. Pregnancy seems to have changed my mindset in some ways. The negative self talk has gone. I am not worrying what people think of me too. Dave and I noticed an improvement in my mood not long after I came off the pill. It has made us talk about different forms of contraception for me to consider for when after the baby is born. We are both wondering if the pill played a part in my poor mental health. 

I don’t have any body hang ups either. Before I became pregnant, I was my own worst enemy. I have embraced the physical changes that have taken place as a result of being pregnant, sore and massive boobs and all! I just think that it is incredible and amazing that my body is currently growing a little human. 

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Rough Runner now feeling rough

Before I talk Rough Runner, I want to say how happy I am that I finally saw my GP last week. He took my concerns regarding my chest seriously. I was told I had bronchitis and that my asthma is now worse. He gave me a brown, preventative inhaler which I was  delighted about and have to use twice a day. We talked about my recent serious low too. He said that as long as I am able to bring myself out of these lows (which I am) that it is not something to worry about. It seems that I really am too harsh on myself when my mental health isn’t so good.

Rough Runner was hard going. I am glad I did it though. It’s safe to say that I won’t be doing it again. I haven’t caught the bug for events like this. Afterwards, some of us got food from stalls at the event. My mate and I both got a hot dog from the same stall. 

Fast forward to Monday evening and I started feeling nauseous. By the time I got home from work, I was vomiting. It got even worse. I was sat on the toilet while having to vomit into the sink. Combine this with horrible stomach cramps, uncontrollable sweating and shivering and I have come to the conclusion that I got food poisoning. My friend started feeling the same yesterday morning. So I am now convinced it was from the hot dog we had on Sunday. 

I have been off work today and yesterday. The stomach pains have finally gone today but I have no appetite and I am so tired. Walter has been stuck to me the past few days, bless him. 

One reason I am not really set on doing rough runner again or similar events in the future is due to a hopeful positive change in circumstances. Dave and I have been talking a lot over the last few months about having a baby. We have decided that once we are settled in our new house we are going to start trying for a baby so at some point in the new year. I spoke to my GP about this as I obviously have a number of concerns. I feel better for talking to him about it.