It’s back

It has made a brief appearance over the past few months. I was able to deal with it. But this time, it feels like it has a tight hold of me. As the week has gone by, the black cloud of depression has grown bigger. 

I couldn’t face the gym today. The self concious, paranoid thoughts about the way I look are constantly there. Plus, I feel that the antidepressants I take have caused me to gain weight. I have been making a massive effort to eat well alongside the gym and it is not doing anything to help. 

I am tired all the time. I don’t want to be around people. I cried before work and after work yesterday. If I didn’t have to go to work later I wouldn’t. 

We are supposed to be going round to my mate’s for tea tomorrow. I really don’t want to go. But my anxiety tells me that I am letting people down and I will lose another friend. 

I don’t know what to do. 

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8 thoughts on “It’s back

  1. carlalouise89 says:

    If you ever need someone to talk, please let me know. I’m happy to listen and help in any way possible. As someone who suffers from clinical depression and severe anxiety, I know just how deep down the rabbit hole you can fall. I hope things get better soon, and I’m sorry to hear it’s starting to take an extreme toll on you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sorry to hear you are struggling, glad to see you’re posting more again though! I’m going through a bad patch as well, and what I a finding helpful is taking everything one step at a time. I know that seems like crap advice, but it’s helping me get through my days. I’m giving myself small tasks to complete, and making sure I’m taking the time to do things I enjoy. It’s tough about going to see your friend, do they know about your depression and anxiety? Maybe if you were honest about it, sent a text to let them know beforehand you are not feeling 100% they might understand, and it might take the pressure off having to put on a front of being upbeat and happy. I don’t know if that will help, but I hope you are getting lots of support xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. as one of your previous posts suggested…keep letting everyone in, and don’t stop. no matter how bad it may seem or how much of a bother you think you are to others. keep hitting the gym, even though it sucks. just keep at it.

    Liked by 1 person

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