What the mind believes…

Yesterday, I completed a 5km colour run. It might not seem like much to some of you, but for me it is an achievement. Running is not my thing. Give me boxing, weights, body exercises, rowing machine, pretty much anything else over running. 

When Dave and I went to meet our mortgage broker, there was an advertisement for the colour run. I decided I wanted to do it there and then. I spread the word about it and in the end, 4 of us did it together. 

Leading up to the run, my friend pushed me in the gym. I did interval running on a treadmill; increasing how fast I was running and shorting my resting period. It was hard and at times I wanted to give up. But I didn’t. 

The week before the run I got a cold. It became progressively worse; my head was constantly banging, my throat was red raw and my entire face felt like it had been kicked. I rested for the 3 days leading up to the run. I knew there was a possibility I would end up being more ill as a result of doing the run. But I took the chance. I didn’t want to quit. 

I surprised myself when doing the run. I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did. As a result, I am seriously considering doing a 10km with two of my friends from the gym. I am quite ill now. I feel like I have a chest infection; my chest hurts all the time, I have a painful cough and I am bringing up a lot of phlegm. But I am still so proud that I ran 5km. 

For all of us living with mental illness, we have to constantly push ourselves if we want to recover or continue to stay well. It isn’t always easy, especially when life decides to throw a curveball. But hard work and perseverance pays off. 

A year ago I was under the crisis team; I was suicidal, constantly anxious and saw no possible way that things could improve. At times, it would have been easier for me to not get help or gain an understanding of how anxiety and depression affect me. Like running, I had to push myself out of my comfort zone to get out of the negative spiral I was in. This was extremely difficult at times. 

My life is better now and I am a happier person. Dave and I are in the process of buying our first house, I have an amazing family and fantastic friends, a lovely dog and a wonderful job. All of this can only help when life throws a curveball my way. 

Proud

Until yesterday, it had been years since Dom and I have been the cinema. I think the last time we went, Dom must have only been about 10 or 11. He found it so challenging and it wasn’t an enjoyable experience for him. 

Since finding out about Finding Dory coming out during the summer holiday, Dom has expressed interest in seeing it. A few weeks ago, he asked if we could go and see it and of course I said yes! 

Dom has been so excited about Finding Dory. When I arrived to pick him up yesterday, he couldn’t wait to go the cinema! Dom has an iPod touch which he absolutely loves. He said that he wanted to leave this in the car. This was a big step. Dom has ADHD and Autism and his iPod helps in a number of ways. It allows him something to do when he is bored and a way of coping with his anxiety. 

Dom moaned during the adverts and trailers (can’t say I blame him!) But I used humour to help distract him. I wish I could have filmed Dom’s reactions when watching the film. It was lovely to see. He had a big grin on his face and laughed countless times. He sat through the entire film and commented on how much he enjoyed it. 

One of my biggest concerns about Dom was his lack of intrinsic motivation. Since baking a cake for my birthday, Dom has asked if we can start cooking tea at my house. So next week, we are going to make our own pizza and chocolate flapjacks. This is the young man who was an extremely fussy little boy who went through a phase of only eating in McDonalds when out with me. 

Being able to see firsthand how much progress Dom has made is one of the most rewarding things for me. It seems I am guilty of underestimating Dom. I hope he continues to prove me wrong 🙂