Thank you to all the people who have left some really lovely and encouraging comments on my last post. I wasn’t expecting them at all. I am quick to find the negative in situations and you all helped me see that I was strong and brave to stand up for myself when at times I feel quite the opposite.
I had my first CBT session last week. It went a lot better then I anticipated. I am not sure if I like the counsellor at the moment. At times she seemed sympathetic and at others she made me feel ridiculous and stupid for the way I think right now. I have three more sessions booked in before going to Australia.
On Saturday the weather was pleasant. You would think given the UK press that we were experiencing a heatwave. It wasn’t warm. It was sunny and I didn’t need to wear a coat outside. Dave and I took advantage of it and went for a walk around a dam that is about 10 minutes drive from our house:
The fresh air and sunshine on my face felt fantastic. I felt so much calmer. We then went and had a drink in Starbucks. Although it was busy I didn’t feel overly anxious.
Dave and I have been discussing the possibility of getting a dog when we come back from Australia. The benefits of me being outside were obvious after Saturday. I also think it will give me a sense of purpose having to look after a dog. We are not taking this decision lightly. We still need to discuss it in more detail. Plus currently Dave and I live in a rental property so we would need permission from our landlord. I’m hoping this wouldn’t be an issue with him as we have lived here for coming up to 4 years now and we are not looking to get a huge dog.
Dave and I went through all our clothes we are planning to take to Australia. I have mostly everything. I just need a few more pairs of shorts and another bikini. Dave needs some more shorts and tshirts. I was supposed to be going out for the day on Friday with a friend. She has had to cancel though so Dave and I are going to get all the clothes we need plus all the other stuff we need (I’ve made a list). I felt so much better when I could see that we don’t need to buy that much. Dave’s auntie has been messaging him about us climbing the Sydner Harbour Bridge today! We have our visas sorted, car park booked and Dave has emailed the airline we are flying with to let them know we are going to be on our honeymoon.
I went the gym on Saturday. A lot of people spoke to me about the incident with the woman pushing. They were all supportive of me. I found out from my friend that this woman has made someone else who comes to the classes so uncomfortable that she had stopped coming the gym! My friend is away from Wednesday for a few days so I am planning on mixing it up a bit at the gym. Normally I go to the gym on Wednesday mornings but I have decided to go to Insanity and Abs Blast tomorrow night instead. It is not worth the stress of potentially seeing this woman on Wednesday when my friend isn’t running the classes. I have been really up and down mood wise over the weekend so it really isn’t worth it.
Lost to the Dark 