Australia – Part 2

Apologies that this post has taken longer then I anticipated. Things have been hectic since we decided to get Walter. Just when I feel that we have bought everything we need for him we find out that we have forgotten something. 

Brisbane

Our family lived about 45 minutes drive away from Brisbane city centre. We were given the opportunity to explore it   

We drove up to Mount Coottha Summit Lookout. The views over Brisbane were spectacular

  

We then went into Brisbane. We got on the seacat and had a mooch around too.   

     

Australia Zoo

We had a fantastic day at the zoo. Steve Irwin has left such an amazing legacy. Highlights included the show at the crocoseum, holding a koala and baby alligator and getting to feed and stroke kangaroos. The staff were so passionate about their jobs and enjoyed talking to visitors to the zoo. 

   
             

Sydney

During the first few days with our family they completely surprised us. The original plan was that we would go to Sydney with Chris and Shelby. Instead we were treated to our flights and hotel for three nights in Sydney!!! The added surprise was that we would get to spend time with Emma each night in Sydney as she was due to be there for work when we were there. The flights each way were about an hour and a half. Our hotel was in Darling Harbour. This was our incredible view:

   

I really loved Sydney. It was a lot busier than Brisbane. The atmosphere there was great. We saw and climbed the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I had concerns that I would chicken out of the Bridge Climb. But it was a fantastic experience. It was so exhilarating and the views were spectacular. We also saw the Opera House and took a ferry over to Manley. 

   

  

  

  

  

  

 

Sydney brought some really nice food too including a trip to Hard Rock Cafe. 

 

Starbucks had dark chocolate moccha fraps. They were lovely!

  

My delicious hotdog and chips on our first night.   

Chocolate and Peanut Butter Icecream

Salted Caramel Macaroons  

 

Dark chocolate churros

  
Dave’s dark chocolate icecream sundae. I ended up finishing it!

The night before our flight home I was given this pandora charm:

   
 

It was such a lovely charm. If you can’t tell it says ‘love’ and ‘family’. I was nearly in tears at how thoughtful it was. 

Dave and I have been talking about possibly emigrating to Australia in the future. We want to go out again and explore the country more ourselves to give us a more realistic view of living in Australia. I know it will be very different being there when you have to go about your normal day compared to being there on holiday. 

  

Busy, busy, busy

Only 3 days until we fly out to Brisbane! This weekend has flown by as Dave and I have both been busy. 

I really enjoyed going for lunch with my parents and sister on Friday. It was nice getting to spend time with them. My hair is now even shorter. My hairdresser was laughing that I keep getting more of the length taken off each time. I now have a graduated bob which is the shortest I have had my hair in a good few years. It is much more manageable and will hopefully mean that I will be cooler in Australia. 

On Saturday was my godson’s 2nd birthday party. We had a good time. I was anxious in the car when driving to our friend’s but I was able to work through it by talking to Dave about it. I am still convinced my godson is autistic. He is really into cars at the moment. There was a lot of repetitive behaviours – moving the cars in a particular way, in a particular order etc. Also, he would lie on the floor and move the cars close to his eyes. He seemed fascinated with watching the car wheels turn. My godson does not talk and there was no imaginative element to his play. Other red flags were that we wouldn’t be singing happy birthday or putting candles on his cake as he is scared of candles and he was scared to open his presents unless you opened it to a point that he knew what the present was. I have thought for a few months now that my godson has autism. But I know it is not my place to broach the subject with my friend. Regardless, Dave and I love my godson. He means a lot to both of us. 

We started packing for Australia when we got back from the birthday party. It was comically to see how much more I am taking then Dave! I normally really hate packing for holidays but it helped me feel more organised and excited. 

Yesterday Dave did overtime at work. I went the gym in the morning. In the afternoon I started cleaning and tidying the house. It’s the first time in a few months I have done a proper clean. It sounds vile I know but I had zero motivation to do housework. It was taking all my energy to even get out of bed on particularly bad days. I feel so much better for doing it, even when I knocked the hoover and its contents spilled over the hall carpet! I managed to not get worked up about it which is a big thing for me. 

I am going the gym tonight. My friend is going to be doing some of my favourite tracks during combat. It was suggested that I make some requests as it is my last Monday at the gym for a good few weeks. 

Tomorrow my brother is off work. He is going to come round to mine and we are going to go out for lunch. Wednesday I am at the gym in the morning and I have Dom in the evening. 

This is potentially my last post before going away. I don’t have any concrete plans to post when I am in Australia. I do plan on taking a lot of photos which I will post at some point. 

Thanks again for taking the time to read, comment and like my posts. It means a lot. Until next time! 

Talking, walking and sorting

Thank you to all the people who have left some really lovely and encouraging comments on my last post. I wasn’t expecting them at all. I am quick to find the negative in situations and you all helped me see that I was strong and brave to stand up for myself when at times I feel quite the opposite. 

I had my first CBT session last week. It went a lot better then I anticipated. I am not sure if I like the counsellor at the moment. At times she seemed sympathetic and at others she made me feel ridiculous and stupid for the way I think right now. I have three more sessions booked in before going to Australia. 

On Saturday the weather was pleasant. You would think given the UK press that we were experiencing a heatwave. It wasn’t warm. It was sunny and I didn’t need to wear a coat outside. Dave and I took advantage of it and went for a walk around a dam that is about 10 minutes drive from our house:





The fresh air and sunshine on my face felt fantastic. I felt so much calmer. We then went and had a drink in Starbucks. Although it was busy I didn’t feel overly anxious. 

Dave and I have been discussing the possibility of getting a dog when we come back from Australia. The benefits of me being outside were obvious after Saturday. I also think it will give me a sense of purpose having to look after a dog. We are not taking this decision lightly. We still need to discuss it in more detail. Plus currently Dave and I live in a rental property so we would need permission from our landlord. I’m hoping this wouldn’t be an issue with him as we have lived here for coming up to 4 years now and we are not looking to get a huge dog. 

Dave and I went through all our clothes we are planning to take to Australia. I have mostly everything. I just need a few more pairs of shorts and another bikini. Dave needs some more shorts and tshirts. I was supposed to be going out for the day on Friday with a friend. She has had to cancel though so Dave and I are going to get all the clothes we need plus all the other stuff we need (I’ve made a list). I felt so much better when I could see that we don’t need to buy that much. Dave’s auntie has been messaging him about us climbing the Sydner Harbour Bridge today! We have our visas sorted, car park booked and Dave has emailed the airline we are flying with to let them know we are going to be on our honeymoon. 

I went the gym on Saturday. A lot of people spoke to me about the incident with the woman pushing. They were all supportive of me. I found out from my friend that this woman has made someone else who comes to the classes so uncomfortable that she had stopped coming the gym! My friend is away from Wednesday for a few days so I am planning on mixing it up a bit at the gym. Normally I go to the gym on Wednesday mornings but I have decided to go to Insanity and Abs Blast tomorrow night instead. It is not worth the stress of potentially seeing this woman on Wednesday when my friend isn’t running the classes. I have been really up and down mood wise over the weekend so it really isn’t worth it. 

Avoiding people

Being around people is too much for me right now. I am finding it increasingly difficult to keep the all is well with me mask on. The sense of dread I have about going round to our friends tomorrow evening is overwhelming. My friend’s daughter who is 4 will be there. This will probably be a good distraction. It will mean we can’t talk about anything too serious. These friends don’t know about my depression and anxiety. 

The worries about going out or seeing people run through my head a lot. I worry about making a fool of myself or people laughing at me. My self image is still bad. I constantly feel fat and guilty whenever I eat. When I was ill it was even worse as I couldn’t go the gym. It was like I didn’t deserve to eat as I was sat in the house. 

My cold has finally gone. I went back to the gym last night. My knee had been alright until yesterday. I took my respite kid out for the day. I guess my knee didn’t like me being on my feet all day. It feels like the muscles in the back of my knee are tight. I didn’t use any weights during the leg track in pump. I opted for the low impact variations during attack. As much as it annoyed me, my knee would probably hate me if I started doing tuck jumps and burpees. 

I got my hair cut today. I have had a lot  cut off the length. I worry I look stupid and don’t suit it. It’s making me anxious about going the gym and to see our friends tomorrow. 

So I have to wait 7 weeks for my counselling. Really helpful that when I will be in Australia in 7 weeks time. Dave phoning up the counselling service was a waste of time. They phoned me and told me exactly what they told Dave. 

I know that talking about everything in my head will help. I’m in my head a lot and find it hard to snap out of it. I wish I hadn’t told my gym trainer friend about my depression and anxiety. She hasn’t rescheduled lunch with me. It doesn’t make me feel valued as a person. It’s like I am not worthy of her time. 

I’m not going to just moan about how bad I am feeling. I am going to make a conscious to mention something positive each time I blog.

Dave’s birthday is in a few weeks. I’m looking forward to spending some extra time together. Dave hates his birthday and being made a fuss of. He is going to decide if we go out for tea. Knowing him, we’ll probably get pizza in. I have his birthday presents sorted. 

In 6 weeks time we go to Australia for the easter holidays. I cannot wait to get away from here. Some sunshine will do me a world of good. It is actually our honeymoon which we intentionally booked for 6 months after the wedding. I can’t believe how quickly it’s come around. We are staying with family in Brisbane and also hopefully getting to go to Sydney. Dave and I need to go through all our summer clothes so we can see if we need to buy anything else. I am hoping that I don’t need to buy much more. I had to buy loads of summer clothes because of the weight I lost. But I definitely need more bikinis as I only have one.